reply to Linda week 3

Just on an opinion and no research to prove it, I am going to assume that yes it is more difficult for males to deal with this type of issue than for females. This does not mean that all mothers are very accepting and all fathers are not, but generally speaking I think more fathers would have trouble dealing with it. This is because many fathers were brought up in the day where we had stereotypical gender roles and boys were brought up to do "manly" things and girls were brought up to be feminine and dainty. For a father who wants to raise a son who grows up to be a tough manly man, than the words "my son is gay" would probably be the worst thing for them to have to hear and accept. This is because our soceity automatically labels homosexual males as feminine and unmanly, which is definitely not even true. There are many homosexual guys that are just as much a guys guy, or even more manly than a heterosexual male. And of course, there are many heterosexual males that are effeminate and could even exhibit more feminine characteristics than an actual homosexual male. These labels and assumptions that our society makes make it more difficult for everyone to come out and be themselves, and for loved ones to be accepting, because the bottom line is that everyone's worst fear comes down to them worrying about how will society accept them. Personally I don't think it is really an issue. If you love your child than it really does not matter what their sexual preference is. It has nothing to do with who they are as a person or what kind of character they have. I think if society as a whole would chill out than they would realize that if we love someone than we should be proud of who they are and accept them for it, whether we personally agree with it or not. As long as your child is happy and feels complete than we should respect them and only want whats best for their well-being.

business post week 3

Okay..so I don't know about the rest of you ladies but when I was reading chapter 12 in our book there were a couple of those side boxes with comments from a couple guys that seriously pissed me off. One of them was from a guy named Clarence who said " I don't believe that a man can rape his wife or girlfriend. Maybe it's rape if a guy wants sex, and a woman he doesn't know well doesn't, and he forces her. But a guy has a right to have sex in a relationship that is established. All this talk about date rape and marital rape is baloney. No woman I'm going with had better believe that baloney." (p. 290) This dude must be mistaken in his beliefs because he is full of shit. Just because you are in a relationship with someone or even married does not give you free reign to throw down your girlfriend or wife and have sex with them at your every whim without considering if she wants to have sex or not. If the female does not want to have sex with you than she has the right to say no. If you continue to do what you want without her consent then I don't care if she is your girlfriend or your wife, if she says no than that is rape. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that it is her job to give you sex 24 hours a day. If you are in a relationship with a woman and you claim to love her than that means you respect her feelings and her wishes and if she does not feel like doing something than you need to respect her decision. This goes both ways too. A woman cannot claim that raping her husband or boyfriend is not possible either. It is a mutual decision between two people and they both need to consent to it. If one party is not willing and the other person does not stop than in my opinion that is rape.
The other comment that annoyed me was from Austin who said " What do girls expect if they go to a club where hookups happen, and they're wearing revealing clothes that are meant to excite and provoke guys, and they are dancing suggestively? It's like sending out an invitation to a guy. So why, when a guy accepts, do they blame him for responding to their invitation?" (p. 289) Guys automatically assume that girls are out to seek their attention. They never really see the other side of it, that maybe the girl felt like getting dressed sexy for herself and for no one else. Maybe she felt like dressing up and feeling pretty and going out and having a good time, and that the thought of picking up a guy never even crossed her mind. Many girls like to get dressed up and go out and dance, it is a fun thing for girls to do. Not all of them are there for males, many of them just go because they like to go out and have fun with their girlfriends. Even if a girl is dressed revealingly, that is her choice. Just because she may be showing skin does not make it an open invitation for some male to come over and start touching her. Guys assume that this means she is out to get some action, which is not always the case. Yes it may be in some cases, but definitely not all. It is called self control. and many males don't feel like they need to excercise this around females when they really do. A girl has the right and freedom to go out in public in whatever they choose to wear without having to be labeled as a girl that is asking for sexual attention. Males need to accept this and learn that it is not always just for their attention.
Now don't get me wrong because I am not some sexist male hating female at all, but I do think that these comments are both a little obnoxious. What do you think? And guys..whats your opinion on this? Do you agree with these guys's statements? If you do it's okay, I'm just curious on what others have to say about it.

reply to Celita week 3

Wow... I think it takes more than a second for all of that to really sink into someone's brain. You create the ever so needed controversy because you refuse to ever let anyone think or try to tell you that you are nothing less than equal as everyone else in this world..man or woman. I pity the fool that tries to mess with you or convince you that you are not worth everything that you know you are, because they will quickly be defeated by you no doubt. You will never let anyone take advantage of you or your confidence as a woman which is a beautiful awesome thing. Just by reading that I can definitely tell that you are one hell of an empowered woman and I think that is absolutely amazing. More women need to have confidence like you do, they could learn alot from you. Too many women do not stick up for themself and let others talk them down and into thinking that they are not good enough or cannot do something as well as a man could. This is nonsense because it is all about the inside of the person and their drive, not the physical characteristics of their body. I hope all of the females in this class get to read this post, and even the males as well. This is a good reminder for everyone as they go through daily life and socialize with others in their personal and professional lives.

reply to Jason week 3

Sorry I didn't see your post before or I would have answered sooner. So reading that made me smile because it is pretty awesome that you wrote about that and are proud of who you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a "tough guy with a soft heart". I honestly believe that it makes you even more of a man to be able to show that you are in touch with your feminine side as well as your rough guy side. You are comfortable with who you are and have enough confidence to know that it does not matter if you enjoy chick flicks and watching Sex in the City. I think thats a very attractive quality in a guy..because in the end a girl is going to have more fun in your company because you are not afraid to be in touch with things she probably likes, and you care about more than just sports. Many guys want their girlfriends to watch sports with them which is totally fine, but then say the girl wants to watch a chick flick, then the guy should in turn watch the damn movie without bitching about it the entire way through. That is what happens in many cases and it really isn't too fair. More guys should learn a lesson from you..that you can still be a manly man and be in touch with your feminine side without worrying about what others will think of you, especially other guys. Stay true to who you are..I am sure that you will make a lucky lady very happy.

reply to Terry week 2

So when you first gave your daughter the options..did you purposely leave out dance because you honestly didn't think it is something she would go for? I was just curious. Were you happy that she chose dance because shes typically not into girly type stuff or did you really not care any more than you would if she chose karate? Yeah i agree with you that it is sad that adults, parents nonetheless, are making comments about how boys in tights are going to be laughed at once they get to school. What our world is in desperate need of is more open minded people..especially in this day and age it is time to be more accepting and open to others even if it is not something that we would do ourselves. If parents are teaching their children negative views than it just carries on through the children and creates more close minded people which we don't need. I say as long as no one is personally harming you than to each their own and people should just get over it and learn to be accepting of others.

business post week 2

I have a niece that just turned 1 year old last week. They had a birthday party for her and of course she received a ton of presents. Most of the gifts she got were plenty of girly stuff and girly colors such as pink and purple. Her mother(my sis in law) seems to think that she cant wear any color unless it is a color that is feminine. She has big blue eyes and I think she would look adorable in light blue. My sister in law refuses to buy her anything that is blue because she thinks it is for boys. There is a also a two year old boy, my nephew, and because he wears blue she thinks that her daughter shouldn't wear blue. They were saying that she needs clothes because she grew out of most of her stuff. When I went shopping for her I bought her a bunch of clothes and i picked out blue and green and even gray stuff. I knew my sis in law would be like uhhh because she wouldnt pick these colors out on her own but if someone gave them to her than its free clothes so she will end up using them eventually. I know it's mean but i am sick and tired of seeing my niece overdone in pink flowery stuff. She looks super cute in less feminine colors and doesn't look like a boy at all. I also got her this little baby handbag that has a brush and comb in it with a little mirror. I was at my brothers house after her party and her family was there too. My nephew who is two picked up the handbag that I got for her and was walking around with it and taking out the brush and doing his hair in the mirror. He is all into everyone's bags and he likes to carry them around..especially handbags. My sis in laws father saw him holding the baby girls handbag and he was like ahh what are you doing?? Thats a girl toy, put that down you don't play with that kind of stuff. He took the bag away from him and he then started crying. He told my brother you better watch out your son is holding a pocketbook that is pink..what is that about.? Then he told him stop crying you're a boy whats wrong with you... go play your football game and be a man. I was pretty annoyed by this whole scene. Who cares if he wants to hold a handbag..it's just a stupid bag...whats the big deal. They were like so shocked like oh my god the boy is holding a girls purse like god forbid that means he is not going to grow up manly. And then when he said something about boys not crying ..I said to him cry all you want boys can cry too whenever they are upset. If the baby girl cries no one ever tells her dont cry so no one should tell him not to cry just because he is a male. I personally have no problem with what colors either of them wear or if he wants to play with her toys then whatever, knock yourself out. Whenever I babysit him I never tell him that he cant play with her boys, nor do I push him into playing with "boy" stuff. I would rather my nephew grow up to be sensitive and caring then some big macho tough guy. I think it is for his benefit in the future and with his relationships with others to be sensitive. I do not think this makes him less manly, I think it even makes him a better man because if you ask me a real man is one who is not afraid to show his feelings and can show vulnerability when he needs to. To me that is more respected, and makes a person have real character.

reply to Charlene week 2

I agree. It isn't fair that a woman has to feel like she has to choose between her career and her kids. Women were made by god to be the ones to give birth to a child...it isn't like you can just decide that your husband will be the one. (in a typical case) Since this is the case, every place should be understanding and accomodating to a woman if she has a child and needs time off from a job to be with the child. Alot of places are very good about this but unfortunately not all are. At my brothers company they recently added something in the employee benefits which is that if you are a husband and your wife has a newborn than the company gives the man a paid 2 weeks off "maternity leave" so that he can be with his wife and then at home to help her and the new baby get adjusted. I thought this was really good because alot of times the male doesnt have this option and it is either that they can't take off from the job or if they do they won't be paid. With this option it allows the male to be of support to his family while not having to worry about financial issues.

mothers day-business post week 1

It does not matter what the physical sex is of the person, if they are taking care of a child and providing them with basic needs and nurturing them then they are "mothering" or caring for the child. There are many homes where children don't have mothers in their lives. The guardians or caretakers of these kids do the same things for them that a mother does, and they should be acknowledged for what they do as well. It should not matter if they are female or not female, or whether they are the child's biological mother or not. I work in a public school in Kensington and many of those kids do not have mothers in their lives. The Friday before Mother's Day weekend instead of only making mothers day cards for kids with mothers we made cards for every persons family whether there was a mother or not. Everyone should be recognized and thanked for caring for children.

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