Friday, June 13, 2008
business post week 5
So this past weekend I was at a barbecue at one of my friends houses. It was mostly guys but there were maybe like 4 girls there. So everyone is swimming and hanging around outside. A little while later all the girls but one were inside putting together some food and the guys were outside grilling on the barbecue. They were done so they brought the food over to the patio to put it down and they were just sitting and waiting. The one girl that stayed outside was laying in a lounge chair right next to the table and chairs that the guys were sitting at. She apparently just started crying out of nowhere. Now keep in mind there is like 9 guys right there, so obviously someone is there to see what is wrong with her. Instead of one of them getting up to ask her what was wrong, one just gets up and walks to the sliding door to the inside and just yells, hey one of you come out here Steph is crying. So we are like what... what happened? And he is like, i dont know I didnt ask her, so one of you go outside and see whats wrong. We are like, what the hell? Theres all of you out there and none of you could get up and go talk to her..you had to come inside to get one of us. Now, what was even worse is that one of the guys that was there has a huge crush on this girl. Instead of being sweet and going and seeing what upset her, he completely ignored the fact that she was crying. I was thinking, smooth move idiot. You finally have a chance to go show her you care and instead you sit there like a moron and dont even acknowledge the fact that she is clearly upset. Way to pick up a girl! I know most of these guys pretty well, and on an individual basis every one of them would care that she was crying, but all of a sudden when they are all there combined they sat there and didnt do anything at all. I think it was because it was a social activity with alot of males and they felt like they had to be all tough and manly around each other. Maybe they felt like the situation was not the right place for them to show a softer sensitive side. I feel this might be the case because they immediately came straight to the females and insisted that it was a girl that had to deal with an emotional problem. Maybe they didn't consciously realize it..but they were gender stereotyping. Guys...what do you think? If you were there do you think you would have responded the same way?
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2 comments:
Reply to Ashleigh Week #5:
Ashleigh, based on your reaction to the guys obvious lack in sensitivity, response and understanding that these men were close friends of each of you. However that is really irrelevant since this was not a matter of a gender issue but a person issue. It does seem like the men at the BBQ you attended did not want to inquire about what they may seem as a feminine problem. But I do have to wonder what might have been said to get your friend to start crying that the guys may not have known how to handle. I question this because I can honestly say that the men that I know would certainly have tried to make me or any other female in that predicament feel better. Even if wasn't thru words but simply a hug. However, they were insensitive to your friend as a person and there should not be gender justification in helping someone that could use a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear.
And, you didn't ask the guys why at least one of them didn't talk to her? Do you think that if she was surrounded by guys that she first, would have cried, and second, one of the guys might have responded differently to her? What an interesting story? See how gender differences are everywhere. What might be our text's explanation for the guy's response or in this case, lack of it?
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